GROUP TEXTS

REMOVE ME

New Lead

I found a new lead at Joe's wedding. She is cool. That's all I have to say about that.

yes

i have diarrhea and am ill. also going to ca this weekend to get my feet wet.

I'm on a

Progrum

important news update

cannonball!!!

no but really. i wanted to let you guys in on a few changes that the dave - california chapter has made in their policies and procedures.

dave c is now known as snave (h has been removed due to pollution complaints) 

dave j is still hknave (the k is silent)

please contact us with any questions or concerns but not with ideas or comments

Ohio

So I'm somehow in Ohio right now for those who don't know. I got a call from some Hawaii friends who were having success selling security and offered me a spot and a plane ticket. I'm hoping this is a very lucrative venture for me, it was super last minute. I quite the dick detective job and I still have the other two jobs when I get back. 

In two weeks we have our surf trip which I'm stoked about!!!! Can't even wait!!!

Horizontal Hooze

This hurt

Better Leads Here Even

Hooze, you have way better lead options here than in Hawaii though.  Don't leave.

Leadless

If you idiots weren't here I'd move back to Hawaii in a heartbeat

Conflicting emotions...

I just bought a lawnmower and a weed whacker....stoked and pissed at the same time.

REALLY INTO BIKING

well...

this blog sucks

Live in a Dive

This is a live recording of Me and my good friend Kallie Hancock playing at The Muse Music Cafe in Provo on April 11th, 2013

https://soundcloud.com/paul-hooze-clonts/sets/live-in-a-dive

Bitchin'

This camper owns!!!

Dr Pepper TEN: Mountain Man Commercial

freaking hilarious

well good luck joe

and congrats

this child

this child is hilarious, makes me want one

Navid, What's your deal with wolves?

WATCH THIS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ_7GtE529M

Harley The Dog

Well guys, it's been an incredibly long time since I've gotten on the blog.  It's not that I dont want to look at it, but rather I just forget! Completely my fault, but not my problem.  Anyway, I just wanted to say congrats to Joe and Nate on your life changing decisions of moving up here and getting hitched.  Both events will result in a multitude of laughter.

As some of you know, I purchased a GIIIRRLLLLL!!!  She is a pure bread Golden Retriever and she is hilarious.  Last night I was playing with her on the carpet and she bit my ear so hard that her teeth ripped my ear and I bled my own blood for a long time.  I was pissed, but since she is only 6 weeks old I couldn't beat the sh!t out of her.  But if she pulls that stunt in a year from now I'll punch her in the dew claws.

Also, Alex and I are currently house hunting for a place here in Utah County.  Looking for a home is hella stressful, but i'll be stoked when I have my own house with a backyard.  It's a lotta money, but it'll be a good investment.  All of you are invited to come over for a BBQ party when we move in.

Lastly, I have decided to turn down my internship job offer and stick with Great Harvest.  I see a future with the bakery and plenty of money as well.  I'm currently working on a business strategy to buy out the owner of the bakery I work in.  Perhaps someday when I have the means I'll open a new bakery down in Orange County, SD, or LA.  But in the meantime, I'm happy to provide you all with free bread (contingent upon your victory over me in racquetball, of course).

LOL 5:30 LMAO

lol

your right...

For the past two days straight ive woken up at 3:59 am and cant go back to sleep. sucks.

i think joe may have something to say

To Hnave

I am well aware that this blog is a public forum. Don't let that bag of chips get to your pride. Nate, I am stoked for you to come out here. I will be sure and show you the good places to eat.

nate... good!

amd nave ard you aware this blog is public and anyone could read it? and also that joe reads it? you should have thought of that before you invited everyone who reads this blog to brick oven

Chain Yanker?

Are you serious? I do not believe that you're moving up here. Prove it. In other news, some of you may have noticed that I do not clash anymore. Also, my family is staying at the Ford's cabin this weekend and it is somewhat funny. Everyone who reads this blog is invited to Brick Oven Pizza on Monday night for Britt's birthday bash!! Let me know if you have questions. Bye!

Huge Tremendous News Guys!!!

On Friday, March 22 at approximately 2:50 pm, my truck, also known as Basil, finally reached a milestone. It now has over 200 thousand miles on it!!!! I'm so proud. Also, I got a yob in Orem so we're moving to the Provo, Utah area April 22nd.

I CAN STILL WRITE!!!!

I just never do the thing!!! And don't trash talk on Emma or I will fight Koko and you will never stop me. Also, I will kick her dog.  But in reality I'm stoked you found the girl of your dreams. It's crazy how fast it all happens once you realize you're the one for each other. I mean we decided to get married and then 2 months later we were married. A fast engagement is well worth it as being engaged just sucks. I wish you all the best in your proposal and if you need any help creating some deal to propose to her I'm sure Nate could build it for you cuz he thinks he's some sort of artist. But seriously congrats, and let me know if I can help. And I should prolly meet Koko once before you marry her. Just sayin....Here's to you Flying High! This one's on me! All around!

Return and Report

 California was sick! waves sucked but overall felt good to be in 90 degree weather.
Koko had a lot of fun and met some new faces which was good. Which brings me to my next point.
I just thought id address the board of the flying idiots and explain my relationship with koko. Yes, i know what you're thinking, we are moving way to fast. i would agree with you if it wasnt me in the relationshonship--but it is me. There are a couple reasons i dont feel worried about moving as fast as we are. First off, i have not much experience with the whole girlfriend relationship before as you know, so it could look like i found my first real girlfriend and now im going to not let her go and just marry her because she likes me. fortunately for me, i served with 14 different companions and i was able to decipher what qualities i liked out of these companions and which qualities i didn't like out of them; also which qualities i would look for in a future wife. now, i know companions arn't girlfriends but i am still able to realize what i want and how to act and treat  someone your going to be with for an extended period of time. I dont feel worried about moving so fast with koko because she has a strong testimony which is important to me. She even works at the temple every friday. She comes from a good mormon family and all of her siblings were married in the temple. She is a great aunt to her nieces and nephews. She served as a missionary for 9 months before getting sick and having to come home. She's hot and shorter than me which was also a requirement. It was easy for us to move fast right away because paul and justin were our mutual friend and they both told me how good a girl koko was and how cool she was, vice versa for her.  She motivates me to be better and wants me to be successful. its only been like 2 1/2 months but i will probably propose at 4 months. We've already talked about marriage and we both want it with each other. Its gonna be a lot of money but just know that i am happy and its what i want. If you have any concerns or comments, you know how to reach me. thanks for your support.
love joe.
and at least she lets me post on this blog unlike matts deal!

As flat as a flat chick

Justin, Hooze, Joe and Koko are at my house right now eating my food. They came down for the week to surf but there aren't really waves. 2P2GAS. Surfline's hb web cam looks ok though, so we're hoping to find some waves there. Also, someone just ripped a tremendous fart in my kitchen and it was hilarious.

wow

hooze and i are now coworkers, and no i am not a member of weinerwatchers(tm)

I'm on Navid with this one

Except after day one, I found a awesome lead, then she turned out to be a lesbian...or she's going on a mission, yea, she's going on a mission  next month...like all of our leads.

single

me n hooze decided that 2013 is the year to gwt ourselves out there. were doin great after 1 day

Here is spiritual

i shook elder hollands hand today and he said nice to see you. me?? it was nice for him to see me. how grand

My new Lead

Stats from work today

 34 Penises 
1 black
32 white
1 hilarious hat
5 big
24 normal
5 small
1 couldn't produce a sample
1 took an hour to produce and I saw his penis like 15 times

Nate

Yes, I noticed.

So I have been living on Dave Jarman's couch the last three weeks and they just gave me a week extension for good behavior. Work is going well, except I'm not getting very many hours at the wiener hut, which obviously pisses me off. I have spent the morning looking at some grad schools to do my Masters in Social Work at. So far SDSU, Columbia, and BYU Provo have taken my interest. Columbia would just drill me since its the top 10 MSW programs in the Nation. I literally just got a text from Britt with info for a meeting about BYU's MSW program ha ha. So I need to make a lotta money to pay off my Jerusalem trip, then its off to Grad school. I've been working at that Therapeutic boarding school for Autistic boys, it has been teaching me a lot, making me want to become a therapist. I applied to the MTC this morning, did an observed teaching session, only 10 min. I didn't see DAD in there.

Dating wise....sigh....its bullshit.

Skating today in that bowl, should be bitchin'

Funny Bullsh..

Also i told Koko that i love her.

You dont have to stop liking me Navid, that vid made me lol

That was some funny saught! I love goats, but they don't taste very good. Hooze, you were right about the skimboard vid. Also, did you recognize the place,it was all filmed in Laguna Beach at 1,000 steps.

if you dont laugh then i dont like you

story but not about wolves

i was walking into the swkt (spencer w kimball tower) while texting and thus my eyes were not forward but down. it was night. a man says "um, sir" in a sheepish voice as he walks by me. i look up thinking "what the freak" only to see a smiling nave jarman.

So this blog is for spiritual stuff

look who won the daytona 500.

pum

naired his chest hair

no, this is funny

i wish i woulda seen this before my mission and hearing my dads stories of working in a grocery store cause this would be hilarious to do.

5 min in, Ronnie would be stoked

4 min in, guy gets my Respekt

church

joe woulda loved this sac meeting. a talk by his dad (a very youthful speaker)

and then a beautiful song by his mormon prom date

also, if you need to schedule an appt. just call coach carroll

I laughed so hard

idiots living together

Paul Justin Joe and I were recruited and we signed contracts to live together for this spring and summer so we will be living together we will be causing mayhem and havoc and laughter we will have a good time it will be fun I will like it we have a cool little pad and would like to make any of you to also stay with us good day

COOL QUICK STORY ABOUT WOLVES/LIFE

If you have 10 minutes of free time, I would recommend reading this story...





                                              WOLVES BOYS AND OTHER THINGS 

THAT MIGHT KILL ME

SUMMER SCHOOL

WOLVES DON’T ACTUALLY howl at the moon. Mostly they howl at each other. I’m a girl, so I

get that.

When I hear the first howl, I’m standing knee-deep in Yellowstone meadow grass,

loaded up like a packhorse, being assaulted by the first shards of an August hailstorm,

listening to the couple we are guiding argue. Over the rumbling clouds and upperclass

bickering I hear the wolf’s howl. It is low and kind of whiny. The call of the bothered. I get

that, too.

I’m out in front of our foursome. My dad calls from the back, “KJ, go left, to the trees.” I

take a few steps and then hear him call loudly, “Your other left.”

I stop walking and let the couple pass me. Dad holds out his hand as he walks past.

“How’s that left doing? Maybe you should tie a string around your finger.” This might be

funny if I hadn’t been hearing it my whole life. The man and his stuck-up wife turn and hear

my dad’s big joke. The woman looks down her pointy nose at me. I turn away and look out

into Hayden Valley. I search the weather-bent grass. If I get to see a wolf today I can put up

with some harassment.

I hear more howling. Competing wails. Then barks. The tourists, both doctors with

advanced degrees in know-it-all-ness, freeze in their tracks.

“I heard something,” says the woman.

“No kidding,” says her husband.

“I thought these things only howled at night.”

My dad clears his throat. “Canids howl when they need to. This sounds like a discussion

about territory.”

The afternoon sky has gone dark in that sullen, angry way it does in the Yellowstone

caldera. The hail and the heavy sky make it difficult to see. But poor visibility usually means

more wildlife. I don’t use my binoculars so I can scan for movement.

After a moment I make out two coyotes. Then I see the wolf. The hail lessens and I see he wolf is three times the size of the coyotes, light gray to their tan and orange outlines. We

are less than a hundred yards away. I whip out my binoculars and focus until they look like

they are practically at my feet.

“What is it? Is it a wolf?” the woman says. Her two-hundred-dollar hat is soaked. She

waves her manicured hand at me. “Get out the scope.”

“Where do you see it?” her husband says, lifting his binoculars into the freezing hail. I

stop watching the wolf so I can put up their scope. That is what I’m here for, after all. To be

the Girly Sherpa. The maid in hiking boots.

The woman explained to me before we left the shop that she was “outdoorsy” and that

she could handle her own equipment. Apparently her idea of outdoorsy means she takes a

guided fishing trip once a year, and her idea of handling her own equipment is having my

dad and me carry the cameras, the scope, the tackle, and the lunches so she can carry her

featherweight, collapsible graphite rod without messing up her hair. The woman grabs her

scope and starts swinging it around trying to sight the wolf.

Dad knows more about the wildlife in this country than most people know about their

own children, but he says nothing.

We stand there like that for a minute and then the yapping of the coyotes fills the valley.

I blow into my hands, listening, trying to keep warm. The sounds come from two places, one

in the meadow and one higher up in the trees.

Finally Dad says, “They have a den.”

I say, “But it’s so late in the year.”

“Yep,” he says.

“Where?” the woman says, salivating. “Wolves or coyotes? I can’t see a thing in this hail.”

“If you’d be quiet maybe Samuel would tell us,” her husband says.

“I’ll be quiet when I want to be quiet.”

“Let me know when that happens.”

The wolf moves in and out of the coyotes’ nips. I think for sure the wolf will tear into one

of the little runts, but it doesn’t. Instead the wolf spins and runs, reaching back with its teeth

to defend itself, but not chasing the coyotes off.

I say, “How come it doesn’t go after them?”

The woman snaps at me. “I’d like to know where the hell you’re even looking.”

Dad raises his eyebrows and then points for the woman. She goes obediently back to her

scope.

The man follows Dad’s finger with his binoculars. “Oh. Oh,” he says. “He’s huge. Can’t

you see him, honey? He’s right there. And the coyotes are biting him. This is very exciting.”

I guess doctors miss blood when they’re away from the office.he woman swings her scope more violently. “I still can’t see them.”

Dad’s voice is low. “That’s because you need to calm down.”

Why can’t my dad act like the rest of the guides and just suck up to his clients? His tip is

in the toilet now for sure.

“I’m perfectly calm.” Her head shakes when she says this.

Her husband looks like Dad just slapped his wife. “I think she can manage.”

“Good,” says Dad. “Now how about I line up that lens so you can both get a good look?”

I go back to watching the wolf and coyotes. My eyes strain to catch every detail of the

animals. Through the spattering hail I see the coyotes working the tag team defense. The

pups go silent, but their parents keep up the bursts of barking. I can’t believe we’re seeing

this. People think it’s so easy to see a wild wolf now that they’ve been back in the park a few

years, like they’re big fat grazing buffalo or something. But just because you can buy a Tshirt with a wolf on it doesn’t mean I’ve seen many of them.

Then things happen fast. The hail stops, like someone has flipped a switch. The air

seems to freeze and everything goes silent. Five other wolves appear out of the grass, like

they just grew there. Without two seconds passing, the coyotes disappear into the trees,

leaving the solitary wolf alone with the new pack. It seems to me that the wolves have saved

their friend from harassment; maybe they have even come to help him kill the coyotes and

rout the den. But that is not what happens.

The biggest wolf, black with huge feet, leads out to the solitary wolf. He stands out front

for a few seconds without moving. I think they are locking into each other somehow, and

then the solitary wolf steps backward and drops down on its back. The man whispers to his

wife, “It’s submitting to them. I’ve seen that on television.”

I hear Dad breathe funny, and I know something bad is about to happen.

The man starts to say something else, and my dad holds up his hand and shhs him. The

woman doesn’t say anything for a change. The four other wolves step behind the big black.

The big black lunges at the wolf lying down. I can’t see what is happening except that the

wolves swarm and make tearing sounds that I feel down in my stomach muscles. The wolf

being killed yelps four times. In the emptiness left by the storm I can hear everything. I don’t

know how to describe the sound, except it’s sharp and pitiful. We just stand there, staring. I

think I’m going to throw up, but I don’t.

Then the hail comes back like a wave, pelting us and the ground and the wolves. The

pack stands erect in the weather, heads up. Then they just circle the dead wolf once in a line

and trot off.

The woman grabs her husband’s arm. “Oh, I can’t believe it.”

Her husband says, “That was disgusting.” whirl around. “Dad, they killed him.”

Dad’s face is hard and flat. “Yes, they sure did. And don’t you forget it.”

Don’t you forget it? I let that boil for about ten seconds.

I say, “Gee thanks, Dad. I’ll just put some more string around my finger.”

He eyeballs me. This look probably scares some people. “That’s not what I meant, KJ.

The minute that wolf backed down it was all over.”

Classic Samuel Manning Carson. It was the wolf’s fault for being outnumbered,

ambushed, and then ripped to Alpo. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, little missy, and you

better get used to it. Lessons from Life. Spare me.

We scowl at each other and then look away. The couple stays silent on the way back to

the van. Dad needs to report the wolf death since Fish and Wildlife are out counting noses

all the time. The hail has ruined the fishing for today. So what, I think. My tip was in the toilet anyway

GEAR

I have gear(officially) and i dont give a SUT! also met her entire family(uncles+Aunts+mom+Dad+Cousins+grandpas) yesterday. They were like the nicest people ever though.

ouch

i got whacked

The recent posting pleases me

2P2GAS!!!

Been sick for 5 days straight with the flu, I would like to punch something innocent at this point

3-Sum w/ a dog?

So the first time i got sunchips with koko i forgot to mention the fact that the dog also started licking us while we were mackin it. I was stoked. but then pissed. also im prolly hanging out with her again tonight which will make for 4 days straight. and if you are wondering... yes i am 2p2gas!

CoNgRaTs

It is wonderful that you single Idiots are having success with the women folk.  I wish you all the best and I hope to hear more about your leads.  Joe is correct, sex is what I do and I like it.  Also, I'd like to invite any and all to be apart of the Flying Idiots Clan.  It will make you a more responsible and intelligent individual.

Garden Salsa!!!!

Id say as a whole, our whole flying idiots flock is flying really high right now. I just got chips with Koko and thats prolly good. hooze got some chips with tressa which is funny. and most of the rest of you are prolly just having sex every night which is great! signing out to his golledge.

Sun chips

First RM I've enjoyed a bag of chips with, pretty funny

to hooze and supporters

i want you to know that as you throw away a penny you are not dropping one cent but in fact 2 cents as it take 2 cents to make a penny, maybe by pinching (saving) pennies you could have a nice warm place to sleep.
on a more spiritual note after 3 post mission sundays i still havent been to sunday school or priesthood but i have read my scriptures every day this week, i am reading in MARK!
i have enjoyed associating with you folks since being home, fly medium.

first date

In the car I just can't wait
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

Let's go
Don't wait
This nights almost over
Honest, let's make
This night last forever
Forever and ever
Let's make this night last forever
Forever and ever
Let's make this night last forever

When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I'm probably gonna miss



so fellas i went on my first date last night. her name was alexis and she is freakin smokin, seriously one of the hottest girls ive ever been on a date with, and shes pretty cool. we went to park city cause its that sundance deal and it was fun. it was even a double date, but i only dated her at the time. i didnt get warm cookies but i held her hand. id say it was probably good to get this first one out of the way. ill be glad to field any questions if you have any. i am back baby!

Thanks HOOOOOOZE!!!

So hooze introduced me to some deal named "koko" shes way cool and pretty cute but most importantly shes not alot of money. Going out with her again on monday. 2P2GAS!

ice rink time lapse

yeah watch this dealok follow this link and go down to the capitals and watch this video, its pretty sick. and its funny cause the guys move really fast.
also go to the ducks and check out jonas' new goalie mask. surfing surfing surfing.

SAM

joe gettin a lead

respek

+1 Member

Welcome Navid Crall. I guess I'll be seeing you on the blog!

GREEDY FINGERS

so something crazy happened to me friday night. Lacey and I went to cafe rio. Everything was fine and dandy, ordered the sweet pork burrito and waited for it in line. Just as the burrito was done the lady behind me had the AUDACITY to start sticking her fingers into my burrito. I watched in shear horror as she continued to betray me. Was I going to do anything about it????? Hell yes I was, but not at that moment, no. I knew that this catastrophe would eventually come to a culmination when she realized that this fascinating cuisine was in fact NOT hers. Then and only then was I going to unleash hell. So I watched......and I waited.....and then....it happened. Her food came out, she paused, her boyfriend turned his head, I braced for impact. Just as she turned her head to look at me I stared into her soul and said: "YOU GREEDY HAG". Then I grabbed her, put her in a headlock and started sucker-punching her into submission. At the same time her boyfriend started shouting for help and in desperation trying to thwart my attack. I remembered that I had my meat cleaver in my coat pocket from my meat tenderizing I did earlier that night. I used my free hand and started simultaneously tenderizing her and her boyfriends face over and over........and over again. As this is happening a thought came over me like a pound of shit: Im in provo utah on a friday night beating up a women and her boyfriend in a cafe rio over some greedy fingers. Just as I came to out of this day dream I heard "I'm so sorry I thought that was my burrito". I snapped out of it and said "no problem". They made me another burrito.



 ps. here is my picture blog of thailand and other adventures

  each-day-a-rustling-leaf.tumblr.com

SAMs new hair cut

STOP

Some of you idiots need to post more often. (nate, justin, matt). To some of us here on the blog, this is the only source of peace in this life.

Ostrich laugh

http://youtu.be/BD0ivRR48Mk

miguel missing.

So rumor was going around that miguel may of no longer been working at alfredos so i asked the girl who was working there(who starting hitting on me(maybe potential new lead)) where miguel was. her answer struck me like a lightning bolt! "miguel works elsewhere now"she exclaimed. as the tears began to flood my eyes she told me he didnt work to far from the current alfredos but it is infact another mexican restaurant known as adebertos. or something like that. its off of mission ave a little more inland. we are going to find him.